Paranoia revisited

As I said on Wednesday, my worldview can lean towards paranoia at times. Here's an example.

New York's subway system sells ad space in big blocks. You'll see the same four or five ad campaigns plastered all over every train for a few months, and then those ads will disappear in favor of a different set of campaigns.

One of the current campaigns includes a spot that I find terrifying:

 

I mean, seriously. Yikes.

WPIX is a local news network. I find nothing especially threatening about local newscasts--they're often sensationalist distractions, but they're not exactly nightmare fuel. This ad is another story, though.

The shot's foreground is a mess of broken, obsolete communications technology and disused newspaper. The floor looks like that of a horror-movie basement, and the background recedes indefinitely into darkness. My band uses this sort of imagery because--guess what?--it's fucking creepy. A scene from Videodrome could take place on this stage.

The figures in the shot are creepy too. On the left is a lawyerly individual whose name is given as "Lionel." No last name--he's the Cher of newscasters, and he's frowning down at a clipboard that holds a list of your fears. In the center reclines Larry Mendte, whose surname recalls the word "mendacious." You can't really tell in the above picture, but it looks like he's reading the funny papers. Anyone who reads modern syndicated comic strips isn't the sort of person I want responsible for keeping me informed about my city. Then there's the silver fox on the right with the sweet hair, dick-dwarfing belt buckle and designer jeans. He sass-faces the camera, but his name says it all: Greg Mocker. Did Thomas Pynchon name these guys? Am I seriously supposed to trust someone whose name is Greg fucking Mocker?

And then there's the pièce de résistance--the terrifying caption. IF YOU'RE THINKING IT, THEY'RE SAYING IT, it declares. In whose fucking world is this a desirable state of affairs? Did WPIX's focus group testing discover a public appetite for Orwellian mind invasion? I seriously can't think of a concept more horrifying than a complete stranger knowing my thoughts so well that they're able to recite them as I think them. One of the creepier Dr. Who episodes in recent memory involves a body-snatching monster which does exactly that. WPIX is literally advertising its similarity to a mind-raping science fiction villain.

Am I reading a wee bit too deep into this ad? Maybe. But I'd rather overthink things than have my thoughts snatched from amidst the folds of my brain tissue by Greg Mocker. Yeesh.