Achilles heel

I've always been a pretty healthy dude.  Sure, I've experienced a few hiccups here and there (I was a carrier of the streptococcus bacteria for a while as a little kid, for instance), but considering my degenerate lifestyle, my body has proven itself quite durable. I don't remember the last time I went to the doctor for anything other than a check-up or stitches.

That years-long winning streak has come to an end.

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

You may remember the post a few months back in which I mentioned that my right foot was bothering me. Well, despite my valiant effort to resolve the problem by publicly humiliating myself on the elliptical five times a week, my foot never healed. I finally got it checked out by a podiatrist, and it turns out that I have the dreaded condition known as PLANTAR FASCIITIS, the physical evidence of which can be seen above.

The plantar fascia is a strip of weird, 'fibrous' (it even sounds annoying) connective tissue that runs along the bottom of your foot. Most people have no reason to think about their plantar fascia until it becomes overtight, starts to swell, and eventually leads to the development of a bone spur on your heel. The chief symptom of plantar fasciitis is persistent pain and pressure sensitivity around the heel of the affected foot. It can also fuck with the way you walk and ultimately throw your hips out of alignment, as it has done to mine.

Plantar fasciitis disproportionately affects runners, people who work on their feet, and people who are naturally inflexible and don't stretch. It is to me as lung cancer is to a chainsmoking coal miner who lives in a house made exclusively out of asbestos.

The good news is that my treatment is limited (for the moment, anyway) to a stretching regime and a short course of anti-inflammatory pills. The bad news is that I can no longer view myself as a nearly-indestructible übermensch whose iron will is matched only by his physical vitality.

It's gonna be ugly when I hit middle age.